Monday, June 01, 2009

 

Cars and parenting


I am a big fan of this blog post from Fresno, of all places!


Cars influence parenting styles and behavior-- and, in turn, both help create dependent children.


I don't know when it started, perhaps when my daughter was two-years old and I started driving her to swimming lessons just a few miles away from our house. It started a parenting cycle that finally stopped the day my daughter got her driver's licence.

Shuttling my kids from one event to another became a lifestyle for me and my children. It was "expected." In fact, I swear, my husband's family competed to see which family unit had the busiest kids!

Heck, I didn't know any different! When I was growing up, I was never "involved" in after school activities, except riding bikes, playing kick the can, or riding bareback through the vineyards. About as involved in my after school life my father and stepmother ever got was to ring the dinner bell! I don't remember any of my friends doing anything structured after school--except chores. That is obviously why we did not end up at Harvard!

I was dating my children's father when I first witnessed the benefits of the car-centric, shuttle service childhood--a four-year-old that could sing and dance on cue! I didn't stop to wonder what the child--and family--were giving up in exchange for such "talent." Instead, I blindly followed this insidious, parenting experiment--and I hated every moment of it! The whole constant craziness not only eliminated free time for my children to play, but it created a lifestyle that required "fast" or processed foods. It became a sick feedback loop that also required more work hours to pay for all of their talent development. Did I mention that I had to hire a counselor when my child was in second grade--in order to help her process her stress. Sick! And I still didn't catch on!

My daughter is now 17-years-old. I am here to tell you that none of those talent building exercises helped her in the long run. She didn't even sign up for the school talent show, not even once! She has never used the tee-ball skills, the soccer, gymnastics, Aikido, Girl Scouts, violin, modeling, basketball, ballet, jazz, tap or tennis lessons in any of her endeavors.

The catch: this crazy child-rearing lifestyle is only possible if you drive a car! Cars alter the natural rhythm of living. The best gift you could possibly give a new family would be to save them and their family from a car-centric lifestyle. The children pay the greatest price; they become accustomed to dependence. Trust me, it is a miserable cycle!

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